Saturday, March 6, 2010

P.S. I Love You

So I am lying in bed, unwinding after a really stressful day at work watching the movie P.S. I Love You - which is a great movie, which I cry through every time I see it. There is a part in the movie, about halfway through when the girls go on their trip to Ireland. They are in the boat, after losing their oars and are just sitting in silence. They purpose of the trip was to spend some girl time together to help her get over the loss of her husband. While in the boat, after a few minutes of silence, her first friend announces she is pregnant and a minute later the other friend announces she is getting married. The two girlfriends are so exicted about both of these things and are laughing, screaming and hugging...and then the camera shows the main characters face (the one who lost her husband and is dealing with the grief of his loss) and I knew exactly what she was thinking...she was shocked/overwhelmed/sad and probably hurt. Of course she was happy that good things were happening to her friends but at the same time it probably felt like a slap in the face.

Hilary Swank is a really good actress b/c seeing the way she acted was like looking in a I understand that losing your husband and losing a child are different things, but when you are dealing with the loss of a child and dealing with the grief on a daily basis you kind of feel like your feet are stuck in the mud. It is hard to understand some times that life for everyone else does go on...other people will get married, other people will have babies, all while you are trying to still deal with the fact that your baby is gone.

These people, her friends in the movie, and mine is real life are doing the things that I want to be doing, they are having the experiences I want to be having. And to be excited for them, and be supportive is hard - this doesn't mean I am not happy for them - I really truly am, but it is so much to deal with.

I guess the lesson to take from this movie is to embrace life, enjoy the time you have with the one's you love and live each and everyday with the people you love and with the memories of those who are no longer with us in person. I will try - I make no promises but I will try.


  1. Ooh, I am watching that movie at 10pm... I wondered if I should be or not? I have seen it once before and remembered liking it but I am not sure how watching it after my own loss will affect me?

    I totally and completely understand that feeling of being so ecstatic for others yet at the same time completely shattered to pieces for myself. It is such a tough place to be because I never want to hurt anyone's feelings and I don't want to be left out of the loop yet at the same time, I know what the news will do to me and I am afraid to toss a shadow onto anyone else's happiness.

    I too will try without promise.
    Great line.


  2. Ugh... just got to the boat scene... she is due in March... I was too. :(

  3. Hey you,

    Sorry I missed this post! Haven't seen the movie, but can relate to what you are saying so much. The jealousy, the hurt, the desperation. Been there, often. And I think of you often. Love you.