Good news - I can make it to both my MIL's retirement dinner and the memorial at the hospital. I am also going to say something at the memorial and am in the process of writing it....a lot of tears have fallen in thinking about Jackson and all the other dear babies that have gone too soon. When I write out my final draft I will be sure to post it on here.
I was asked by our clinical coordinator at work if I wanted to take some bereavement training and wanted to head up the training of our staff at the hospital. I feel honored and I think I am ready. I think have both the perspective of the Nurse as well as a bereaved parent myself will maybe help others understand it a little better. The feeling I get from supporting someone else and helping them through their loss is indescribable....it feels like I have a purpose. I know the deep dark raw emotions they are feeling at the time of the loss and the things that are to come.
If I could go back in time and somehow change the past and bring Jackson back I would - but I can't and I am dealing with it the best way I know how....and every time I am able to help, comfort or talk with someone else dealing with the grief of a loss I thank Jackson for that. He did this for me and I am attempting to pay it forward....we will see how it goes!
I am off to work....hopefully for a not too busy night!