Sunday, May 9, 2010

What Makes a mother....

Hi everyone,

We had the memorial at the hospital and it was bittersweet. Nice to be supported by other babylost mothers, but so sad at the same time. I hope as each year goes on we can continue to have the memorial, helping more women deal with the grief and pain of their loss(es).

Appropriately, the poem I was going to read was called "What Makes a Mother". This is something that I have struggled with since we lost Jackson. Over the last 18 months I have learned that just b/c your baby is not with you, doesn't mean you are not a mother. I try to explain it like this, if your father died, you wouldn't say you never had a father, you would say that he has died, but was still a very big part of your is the same with our babies. Even though I was only pregnant for 22 weeks, and he was only alive for 1hr36mins he has totally changed and shaped my life. I am a Mother - and it hurts that not everyone recognizes it....I don't get mother's day cards or messages...but thank you to the people who have recognized it and thought of me today - know that I am thinking of you too!

Here is the poem that speaks so clearly to me. Happy Mothers Day Ladies. XOXO

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here

He took a breath
and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear
My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons are through
And on the day you come home
they'll be at the gates for you

So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth
May not realize
Until their time is done
Remember all the love you have
And know that you are
A Special Mom

Author Unknown