I miss Jackson a lot today - I am sad he is not here, I am sad that he will never play with his little brother or sister. Today I am just really sad.
Along with the sadness I am full of anxiety, the next 5 weeks are going to be so much harder than I thought. My water broke with Jackson at 20w6 days and we delivered him @ 22 weeks. How can I not be afraid that it won't happen again? How do I deal with the anxiety that comes along with each and everyday that brings me closer to that milestone of 22 weeks? How did you all do it?
I know I just have to get through one day at a time, Brian's surgery is coming up and that is keeping us busy, but the worst time is when I am lying in bed trying to sleep - all I think about is Jackson, my water breaking and my postpartum hemorrhage. How do I shut off my brain so I don't drive myself crazy? I will take any and all suggestions!