Friday, October 15, 2010

October 15th - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day ~ 20w5d

I just wanted to take a minute to let you all know that I am thinking about all of our babies today. Hopefully they are all playing together, looking down at us with smiles on their faces.

It hurts my heart to think about all the losses, all the pain, all the grief felt by all of the BLM's and their families...at least we have the support from each other. I feel lucky to know you all.

Jackson - I love you so so much and miss you each and every day. xoxo

xxoo, Linda

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Brian's surgery - 20weeks

I brought Brian home from the hospital late Friday night. He is doing well - still in a considerable amount of pain from the surgery, but the nerve pain he has had down his legs, in his butt and up his side was gone the day after the surgery! (Which was the whole point of the surgery). The Dr. said he gave him a few gray hairs in the OR, his spine was petty messed up and the nerves were being crushed. He now has 4 screws, 2 rods, a cage and who knows what else in his back holding him together...but it seems to be working so that is great! It was a long exhausting week, but so worth.

This week my belly really popped so to speak. There is no denying or hiding the fact that I am pregnant, not that I would want to, but I definitely have a belly. (Which is nice!!) Plus, the little one is moving around a ton too, which I love.

These next two weeks are going to be hard - hard in the fact that with Jackson my water broke at 20w6d and then we delivered, held and lost him at 21w6d. I just want to fast froward these next two weeks and get them over with. I just don't want to go there, it is such a dark place and I just don't want to go there ever again. After these two weeks it is all uphill from here. (Don't get me wrong, until I have a living breathing baby in my arms, who I know will stay that way, I will still be stressed) But at least after 22 weeks it is all unchartered territory for me, it will be new, I won't have anything to compare it too, which I am excited about.