I found this poem online and have posted it on Facebook. This poem says it all...everything I missed with Jackson. With each failed pregnancy I also feel it over and over again. Once again I feel left empty and sad.
Being Your Mommy
No sleepless nights, no 3 a.m. feedings
No good night kiss or storybook readings
No birthday cake in the shape of a car
No camping out and no wishing on stars
No trips to the zoo, no learning to skate
No "wash you hands mister", no "clean your plate"
No chicken pox, no meet the teacher nights
No best buddies, no sleepovers, no fights
No play dough, no pictures on the fridge door
No weekly allowance, no rules, no chores
No action figures all over the place
No reading about dinosaurs, bugs or space
No grass stains on elbows, no holes in the knees
No reminder to say "thank you" and "please"
No hockey try-outs, no rides to the mall
No band-aids and kisses after a fall
No calls to Grandma, no Father's Day card
Being your Mommy is so very hard!
I wish I had known you for just a day
To have held you before you went away.
I miss you - your face, your laughter, your touch...
I feel cheated, I am missing so much!
I miss your childhood - it would have been fun!
And I miss the man you would have become.
I'm missing a lifetime of memories.
When all the moms talk - I've got no stories.
I've got only dreams of how it would be
And wishes that you were still here with me.
I will spend my whole life thinking of you;
Loving you so much and missing you too!
Being your Mommy has brought me such pain,
But you were worth it - I'd do it again!
Mommy misses you every minute of everyday Jackson....xoxo